Advice for dating a divorce man with kids
I hate how he become too defensive about it even if he told me that he was just scared to have the same experience like what happened to him and his second wife ( they divorced because they kept on fussing over the same thing). Your boyfriend will fall more deeply in love once he sees how compatible you are to his children. I don't think you're wrong in feeling that way, but maybe you just don't really understand his point of view.i don't want us to end up like that coz i love him so much. going back to your problem, i think you are in a better situation. Not knowing him or you, I'm only speaking from personal experience.
Also, depending upon the situation with his ex, he may have concerns that she may not agree with his choices and try to make it more difficult for him to see his kids. I know that he wants to spend more time together and that the situation isn't ideal, but at what point does it become a deal breaker? If it's possible love them as much as you love him and it will work out fine. I would say that you need to let him know your feeling and how you would like to be involoved in his activities with his kids.have been with im for 8 months and he must be confused about you or you would be apart of that play time already so make it Loud & Clear what u want out of you relationship with him! i am dating a guy whom i fell so madly in love with but he was divorced twice and had three kids.I was in your situation, until I broke it off with him yesterday. Your story provides confirmation that I did absolutely the correct thing. They will get over the initial shock of how untraditional your relationship is, and more importantly, that even though this isn't what they envisioned for you, it might be ok -because of the positive changes your relationship causes within you. He also may be somewhat over-protective of his kids and maybe worried about them, in the event that your relationship has issues. He and their mother have been divorced for 3 1/2 years.When he was courting me he promised me everything under the sun, including that I would never be second to his children. It's not all sunshine & roses though -you will have to deal with the kids and ex-wife emotions by yourself, you don't want the parental 'we told you so' -alone, because he will try, but never truly comprehend everything his baggage will put you through, emotionally and otherwise. He probably doesn't want them to be in the middle of any issues or especially a possible break-up. im dealing with the same thang its hard for my parents to understand the chose i made to date a man that is divorce with im going threw a divorce myself with kids like this man im what im doing is showing that im happy now cause of this showing them just me doing the right things in life that i wasnt doing before he came into my life. I am the only woman the kids have met, so he is very protective of them. He also travels alot for work,so in his limited free time he is torn between his kids OR me instead of me AND the kids?Once the kids and I met (about 6 months into our relationship) we hit it off, and it's been great. But it always seemed like I was trying to get attention from him.We live together, and we have the kiddos half of the time. Maybe he's worried about how you'll feel about the kids, or vice-versa. I was getting over an abusive relationship and my mom passing away. He was always busy with his kids, he ignored our son to be with his other kids. His family never accepted me, because they were so close to his ex wife. i know every situation differs..the fact remains the same..has priorities other than you. I think sometimes women settle because we dont think for some reason we arent going to get anything better, past hurts low self esteem etc.I've never felt like this, so it's hard for me to turn my back on it just because they aren't happy with it. Coming from experience, it is really up to you if it is worth it. I feel ill about it all now and am deciding if I can, and will it always be like this. I want to be married and possibly have kids of my own. I don't want to be in the same place I am now a year from now and I'm really worried I will be. Guy, I appreciated reading the other post you send.
It will put a lot of strain on your relationship and sometimes it is EXTREMELY hard to deal with. But, I know my boyfriend is not staying at his ex's house. He was separated, living in separate places, for a little over a year.
My situation is a little different because I have kids with the guy who also has an ex wife and son. What stinks is that I can sit here and tell you to have trust etc. The kids know about me and the two times we met he told me they really liked me.
It seems he's not sure how to bring me into their relationship.
What's hard is that I know my parents aren't happy with my situation and they feel like I should find somebody who 1) isn't divorced and 2) doesn't have kids. but his children arent lol i tried so hard to be accepted by them .. and i dont really care anymore .husband is a great father .. but i always have to compromise and be understanding that im not the only one in his life ... It really helps that it's anonymous because I got comments from friends that they would not say to my face. He gets his children every other weekend and on those weekends, I don't see him nor am I invited to do things with them.
I respect that they are concerned about me and my situation but can't they just be happy that I'm happy right now? consider that and watch how close your guy with his children and watch the character of those children .your choice .. I also am in a relationship with a fella with 3 kids, I have 4 and can make it work, but he is having difficulty, he says they come first and me 2nd. Using this, I decided what to do about my relationship and have been very happy with my decision. I am dating a recently divorced man with 3 children. I have only been around them twice and both times things went well, but we've been dating now for 8 months and still I've only been around them twice. But, If he doesn't have that desire to include me in ALL of his life, have me go places with them (even once a month) then how do I know if this is actually going somwhere?
If not its not going to work, so move on, life is to short to waste time on maybes and excuses. He is 9 years older, divorced 2 years ago with 2 kids (5 and 8) who live in different country. He does take me with him sometimes and his kids love me.