Being white and dating a black man
In it, there is an imagined scene where Michelle asks why Barack ended things with his college girlfriend, who was white.
Will my “ Richard Tanne’s film “Southside with You” tells the story of Barack and Michelle Obama’s first date. Men who have protected and supported me through some of the darkest days of my life. I might even spend an evening charming some former frat bros at the bar for my personal amusement. It was just there in the back of my mind: I can hang out, work with, live next to and even call white men friends, but I don’t date them. Made me feel a bit hypocritical and narrow-minded, two states I actively work to avoid. One is named after Nathan Bedford Forrest, a lieutenant general in the Confederate Army. Both are men I would trust to raise and protect my son should the need arise. Or wonder whether Justin Timberlake’s prowess on the dance floor translated into, well, other areas. It was not a hard-and-fast rule, as in: I don’t date white guys.So I decided to explore why I could love white men like family but not envision them as potential partners. Love for men who move through the world in ways that remind me of my father. A black man comfortable in his skin and walking in his purpose remains the ideal. There is also the fact that I was raised a good Southern black woman, albeit one freer than most.Fear of being ostracized by those very same men or fetishized by their white counterparts. I grew up surrounded by handsome black men who were strong-minded, hard-working, upwardly mobile and worldly. At a home, it was understood that if Billy Dee Williams — not Paul Newman, not Richard Gere — should ever knock on our door, my mother was leaving with him. Still, as a rule, good Southern black women do not dishonor their communities or betray their history by willingly sleeping with white men. The same grace that is extended to black men who date white women is not as easily extended to black women who do the same.Now that I am a mom of a black boy, this conversation about black men dating white women has once again fallen into my lap.
Although my son is only 6 years old and light years away from dating anyone, I know that I will one day have to talk to him about dating and race.
The cashier, Carolyn Bryant, later claimed that he grabbed her hand and said, "How about a date?
," though other reports contradicted her testimony.
I lived that feeling as the token black girl in my West Texas hometown’s elite circles. I am a woman who grew up with a “Love is Colorblind” figurine in her room, for goodness sake!
The fear of feeling that way within a relationship also blinded me to possibility. When it comes to life experiences and interests, I likely have more in common with white men than black.
A few weeks later, the boy, Emmett Till, was beaten beyond recognition and died three days later.