Customs dating england in
Many of my French friends – men and women alike – have waited to meet someone special for their first time, didn’t just want to get rid of their virginity, and have never had one night stand.If sex between consenting adults is very much socially accepted, most French people won’t rush into it, and get to know each other before jumping into bed.
She decides whether she wants the guy or not, and may need more than one dinner to make up her mind… In any case, there is no obligation nor expectation whatsoever for the woman to do whatever after any number of “rendez-vous galants”.The game is the main point, it’s relatively innocent and usually no-one gets hurt, just a little blushed :-) With kissing hi and goodbye being the standard and French women being more “flirtatious”, it can be difficult for foreigners to correctly read a French woman’s body language.I guess since there is no set protocol, French women are pretty obvious, and often more direct than other women. It’s unlikely they’ll refuse to take it further, but not unheard of.But I would never do that to my Dad who would be very upset if I did. When I meet a man and I am without my husband, I’ll place within the first minutes of the conversation that “my husband blablabla… That usually is enough to make my state of mind really clear.I did the same thing as a girl, talking about my boyfriend (actually existing or not) early on in the conversation. And some people are just not faithful, but contrary to popular opinion, it’s not worse in France than anywhere else (and several studies demonstrate it). It’s in our genes and it’s socially accepted in France.So, since there is no dating protocol, French guys have to work hard for it…
They cannot just assume that if the girl accepts to go out with them three times, “c’est dans la poche” (it’s in the pocket, it’s a done deal).
Sex is not taboo in France as it is in the US, and it is much more present in humor, art, tv and everyday life than in the US…
and so is nudity: children are often naked on the beach, women can go topless (although it’s less frequent now than when I was young)… I wrote an article about French Sex Vocabulary if you are curious – watch out, it is explicit and written for an adult audience.
Good luck with your studies and remember, repetition is the key!
Looking for love but struggling to negotiate the cultural norms for striking up a conversation with that local babe at the bar?
Maybe that’s why things take a bit more time to develop in France – we like the game, and we like to take our time playing it.