Dating a 30 year old man
When you strip away all of the value placed on sex and sexuality and look at it with an unemotional eye, virginity is a lack of a particular physical experience.To be a virgin is no different, ultimately, from never having eaten Chinese food or having been to Disneyland.
And the truth is that most of them are completely creeped out at the prospect of dating a guy who was alive when JFK was alive. Now in my mid 40’s though, the idea of dating someone in their 60’s does seem like a big difference in terms of where we each are in life. Even a woman’s hymen is no demarcator of virginity; many will rupture their hymen long before they’ve had penetrative vaginal intercourse.You are no wiser, more mature or otherwise changed from who you were minutes beforehand; the only difference is that you now have a set of memories that you didn’t have before and the need to shower and change the sheets.Meanwhile, we live in a culture that glorifies male sexual conquests even as it pathologizes male sexuality.We are taught to measure a man’s value by the number of sex partners he’s had; the more women he’s seduced, the greater the value.Steve Carrell’s character may be middle-aged with a steady job, a sizable apartment, a car and presumably relatively debt free…
but because he’s never managed to actually penetrate a woman, he’s still obsessed with “childish” things.
Still others may have never so much as held hands with someone who wasn’t a family member.
Because of all of the importance placed on the concept of virginity, people are convinced that having passed some arbitrary cut-off point that they have rendered themselves utterly unfuckable and have somehow missed on a critical aspect of growing up.
An older man’s going to be the strong, nurturing guy who takes care of her, teaches her, and treats her like a princess – the kind of relationship that she probably lacked growing up.
Hey, I’m no psychologist – just your friendly, neighborhood dating coach. Whether we like it or not, there is nearly a full generation gap between 28 and 45.
In fact, you could reasonably equate the two; more often than not, you wait for too damn long for a thrill that’s over in under 3 minutes and half the time you’re wondering what the big deal was.