Dating after failed engagement
In short: Love is tricky, things happen, people change. Others get engaged, expecting a lifetime of bliss, and then are subject to a major turn of events out of their control that concludes with a canceled wedding.
I felt disappointed and bitter that these broken engagements wove themselves into the fabric of my romantic cloth, and I was furious that I couldn’t change the past. Broken engagements may be the end of your world for a little while; however, they’re not end of the world (as my father likes to say). But God (as always) seems to have other plans, and He has put a girl in my life that I have been thinking and praying about pursuing.The problem is I don't think I have the courage to ask her out.It will feel strange and cold and depressing—who wants to think about event logistics in the middle of heartache? Start by making a list of the things you need to tackle with your partner, and then check off those boxes as soon as possible so you both can move on.Below are some key areas to consider: Share the news ASAP. The second I tried much harder, doing everything I could to follow Christ and do His will.
The first was long distance, and I didn't put as much into the relationship as I should have.
(Case in point: I kept the only wedding dress I ever bought. Keeping track of your former flame’s life from a distance only distracts you from your own.
The man at the time wasn’t perfect for me, but the gown sure was! Building your new life—the one without him or her—is your priority now.
) Call the venue, cancel the flowers, contact the caterer, connect with the photographer, and so on. Weddings are hella expensive, so when they’re canceled, somebody is going to lose money. Post-relationship is the perfect time to practice self-care. Take an online course on a topic you’ve always been curious about.
If it’s you, try to get back whatever deposits you can, and then let it go. Maybe for you this means taking long baths every night, burning the expensive candle, drinking wine at four in the afternoon. Write down all of your emotions in the fresh pages of a journal. Sit at home and watch all the seasons of with a pint of ice cream.
No matter how much you loved each other, you NEED space from such a massive hurt to find your own new path and regroup emotionally. I kept my previously engaged status on the down-low for years out of guilt, shame, and embarrassment. I trust that I can make a change when I’ve gotten off-track from the best version of myself, and I’m better at being honest about my shortcomings, as well as my desires.