Dating after young widowhood
I don’t expect a woman I am dating, or even more seriously involved with, to “help me get through my pain and loss”, as it relates to my late wife’s passing.
I would have been dating again within a year if I had not been in a car accident that put me out of action for 9 months.“The most common mistake I’ve seen is people getting upset that the widow/widower still has pictures of their departed loved on and not understanding that the relationship ended without consent on the part of both parties.”Judging the widow/widower on the length of time after the death before getting back into the dating game.Everyone grieves differently, and it’s not fair to impose your own (esp.As a follow-up to our article, here are more thoughts on navigating the often tricky waters of dating someone who is beginning to date after grieving the untimely loss of their partner or spouse – from Members of our own Widow/Widowers community here on e Harmony Advice, in their own words.As you’ll see from the passages below, everyone’s reaction to their circumstance, opinions and experiences are going to be different, so it’s important to keep in mind the specific needs of your match as you progress.Not all comparisons are bad; they are simply an acknowledgement that something is different than something else.
Most widow(er)s probably wouldn’t expect or want for you to be just like their late spouse, so there’s little use in wondering if you’ll “measure up”.
It is one thing to be supportive and allow space for the feelings and ebbs and flows of emotion which diminish over time, but I don’t think a person should be the widow/widower’s grief counselor.” Most people who’ve suffered a loss have already built a network of friends and/or family for support.
Many will choose to attend therapy or support groups for help dealing with their pain. When you are dating someone it should be about you and that person having a shared goal of creating a great relationship.
The widow(er) will make this decision for themselves, but the important thing is that you are about to discuss, respect and be comfortable with the amount of time they’ll need.
Is it common for widow(er)s to compare new dates to their former spouse?
One is ready to date again whenever solitude gives way to loneliness.