Dealing dating widower
Remember that the negative differences you create in your own failed comparison to the late wife may be just the reasons why your husband found you to be so appealing!
While the book falls short of fully describing the remarriage of widows and widowers, it is a wonderful reference to absorb should you wish to become better informed about the journey of bereavement and of your husband’s heart.They may fear that their daughter’s/sister’s/niece’s/granddaughter’s memory will fade into obscurity just because your husband decided to remarry, and may subconsciously blame you for this.If you remain constantly focused on their bereavement, it will become much easier for you to deal with any negativity on their part.It’s no easy task to share your husband’s heart with another woman, but in a marriage to a widower, that is precisely what you must learn to live with.But take heart – it IS possible for grief and love to co-exist!Be sensitive about the other person’s feelings when deciding on which of these you can live with if they are to be displayed in your home.
While the late wife’s family may or may not accept you into the new extended family fold, remember that they have experienced a great loss and are dealing with the backlash of grief.
As with anyone who has suffered the loss of a loved one to death, allow them their memories and be patient as they learn to grow to love who you are and respect your place in your husband’s life Was the late wife prettier/sexier/funnier than you? Comparisons are normal, yet when we fall short of our own comparisons, they can feed our insecurities and inhibit the growth of a relationship with a spouse.
Your husband did not marry you because you were an exact replica or clone of his late wife.
Yes, time is a healer, and along every grief journey, sadness turns to joy at some point.
However, do not be fooled into thinking that your husband’s late wife’s death anniversary or their wedding anniversary, her birthday, or holidays will be grief-free.
He may be unwilling to share his grief feelings with you on these special occasions simply because he may be afraid that speaking of them will hurt your feelings.