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In many ways, your relationship is a separate entity from you and your partner, and it will make demands of you.Like a sexy vintage car, if you want your relationship to work past the initial honeymoon phase, you have to put in the work.
It’s very easy to get caught up in the quest to get a relationship – whether something semi-casual or completely serious – without recognizing that you might not be ready for it yet.Trying to run your life is difficult enough; trying to manage somebody else’s on top of your own can be a goddamn nightmare.But even if you find that rare combination of teacher/nurturer who lives for expanding your mind while shrinking your anxieties, there’s the fact that to change. The primary reason why guys don’t do all those things they fantasize their 90s-era Winona Ryder teaching them to do is that, frankly, they don’t really want to do them in the first place.A girlfriend isn’t Dumbo’s magic feather; she’s a person, same as you are.Asking her to take responsibility for your self-improvement regimen is an unfair imposition on her.If they did, they’d already be taking steps to get there.
Instead, they’ve chosen not to, finding many very good reasons why they couldn’t possibly do it.
Now, having just said all that: Yeah, I know: if having a girlfriend won’t change you, then the fuck is this horse shit?
Well, while a relationship isn’t your magic “make better life changes” button, it require change.
The idea that the motivating power of boobs might get them to chase those dreams makes for great inspiration porn, but in real life, it requires massive upheavals and changes in your personal status quo and those guys have already decided that they’d rather do whatever it is they’re doing now.
Your girlfriend’s encouragement to, say, go camping or join her at the party where you won’t know anybody, isn’t going to be the kick in the ass you’ve been waiting for, it’s going to be the annoying thing she keeps asking you to do when you’d rather work on your army.
There’s a very common issue I see among guys who’re looking for a girlfriend: they’re just not ready for one yet.