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At the same time, do not throw yourselves back into the thick of the relationship until the hard personal work has been done by both of you.You do not want to risk the fragile nature of by your relationship by overwhelming each other with untransformed issues.
Deal with the pain the two of you caused each other When ready, each of you needs to talk about the pain caused by the other, with each person listening intently and taking it in.You must take many actions to specifically cure, fix, change, shift and transform the behavior and thinking patterns that brought you two to the brink of a breakup. Create joyful moments together, even if they start out small Spend snippets of time together, just being close.Bring back – or increase – physical intimacy, even if it feels a bit awkward.Do these steps individually to sanely survive the “getting back together” period: 1.Get support Who in your life will restore you to sanity when your thoughts and emotions overwhelm you?Who in your life can accurately see what’s happening with you and in your relationship, and give you correct advice on how to repair your situation, so that you can stay together? They love you and have good intentions, but their advice will often harm your relationship instead of helping.
If you want clear, unbiased feedback on what’s going on in your relationship, try working with me as your coach.
Commit to the relationship It’s very hard to work on a relationship when either of you has one foot out the door.
If you have the attitude of, “If this or that doesn’t work, I can’t be here,” it’s almost certain that your relationship will fail.
And sometimes just talk about the weather or what’s going on your life. They reconnect, talk, but don’t make changes to support their relationship.
They eventually destroy the relationship by the same actions that got them to separate or breakup in the first place.
Go here to learn about how you can try coaching in a 30-minute sample Get Clarity Coaching Session. Face your fears about the relationship In facing your fears, you will confront those worst possible scenarios that make you want to run while you are trying to put your relationship back together. The more you take care of yourself, the more resilience you will bring to your relationship situation, and the more patient you will be during the getting back together process. Do your personal work Delve into your personality and your issues.