Junior in college dating a senior in high school
In the first few months of college, there are those long, lonely freshman nights – times when you wonder whether you’ve actually made any real friends.
It means long distance, long term.”By late November, you realize that the long-distance, marriage-proposal kind of commitment is fundamentally opposed to the ideals we’re taught to associate with college.She broke up with him a few weeks later.“The nice thing about the college atmosphere in terms of relationships is that you can ease in to them – you don’t have to know where you stand, you don’t have to be really certain,” said a current college junior.“But with long distance, there’s the implication that you’re in it for the long haul.If you were weren't together everyday on campus, then you had to make sacrifices, and you didn't make sacrifices if things weren't serious.One junior told me that, freshman year, her high-school boyfriend revealed his plans to propose the day after graduation.Do I push myself to meet new people (and risk spending the next four hours smiling and saying “hey, where are you from?
” so many times that my face starts to hurt), or do I fall back on the familiar?
The “Turkey Drop” happens in part because freshmen realize they no longer need the safety blanket of their high school significant other. Christopher Thurber, a psychologist at Phillips Exeter Academy, going home for Thanksgiving – being surrounded by people they love – can actually help freshmen to get over their homesickness.
“When you’re homesick, your actions – being tearful, staying in your room a lot – will cue in the people around you, and prompt an appropriate social response,” said Thurber.
The first time she drank alcohol, he “fell apart.” When she signed up to join a sorority, he started a screaming match.
She knew she was missing out on important college experiences, but there was still something that made her stay with him for the first few months.“First semester of freshman year, you don’t have that many real friends, so when my high-school boyfriend would show up, I would be like, ‘Yes, here is someone I trust, that I can actually tell things to,’” another junior said.
Then I moved into my freshman dorm, and met a roommate who had just flown in from South Korea.