Neurotically yours dating advice
Other characteristic signs of a narcissistic mother are habitual lying and constant criticism of the child under the guise of being a caring parent.She lets them know in no uncertain terms, verbally and nonverbally, that they are not as good as other people.
) for your own good” that I accepted everything anyone threw at me even when looking at certain things ‘logically’, there was no way that the intention behind saying certain things, was for any ‘good’ at all.” No one ever says that you are RIGHT to have issues with abusive family and that it is okay to stand up to them. ) Why can’t you say “mind your own business mom, that hurts my feelings” ~ It’s all about keeping the peace and harmony; as though the message is that love is acceptance of abuse! Why is it so important that we don’t rock the boat when it comes to ‘family’ no matter what they say? What about the time at a family wedding she told my cousin when we were both 19 years old, that it was okay if he slept with me because I was ‘on the pill’.They say that if your mother comments on your weight because you are having a second slice of pumpkin pie you should just “let it go”… Why is it that it is up to the victim to learn to ‘let it go’ and accept people the (abusive) way that they are? What was her motive for saying that in front of the whole family? What made her think she had a right to say something like that, and to my COUSIN which made it seem even worse.I don’t get it; it seems that the solution “out there” is always about acceptance of the people who are doing the damage, and then taking responsibility for YOUR part in it.It is always assumed that each person in the relationship shares part of the blame for the difficulties in family relationships.Narcissistic mothers are only able to see their children as extensions of herself-little mirrors that reflect back to her.
She values her children only so much as the children can benefit her; she is exceptionally self absorbed, sometimes to the point of grandiosity.
A narcissist mother may come off as a loving, caring parent because she will have an exclusive and possessively close relationship with her children in order to control and manipulate them.
Although most parents watch with pride as their child begins to learn independence, a narcissistic parent feels every step away from her is an absolute act of betrayal.
” Even the articles about ‘setting boundary stuff’ are about ‘not engaging’ and not expecting them to change.
I never read an article that says, if your family is abusive, humiliating, harassing, degrading or devaluing you, if your family or friends disrespect you privately or publically, then “stay away from them!
Narcissists can go into a “narcissistic rage” over the littlest thing which results in belittling, emotionally abusing and, not infrequently, physically abusing her children.