Dating a married man for 3 years
It reassured me someone went through the same things I did, that I wasn’t alone in my torture. I told him, “I won’t come to any different conclusion.
The divot in his ring finger catches the light, reminding me of the torture I so often hide when we’re together. Like most everything else in my life, our relationship became punctuated by song lyrics I felt described our situation. I knew what I had to do, as much as I tried to ignore it. The chill had left the air and incoming Spring filled me with the power and motivation to do the hardest thing I knew I needed to do. We spoke sparingly over the next few days and it eventually faded to no communication. The cycle of the love affair with a married man almost always ends in broken hearts, hurt, and wasted time.Sure you have those once in a million times where the man actually leaves his wife for another, but for the most part, it is a script for adultery disaster. He would be with me when his kids started school again. He talked of long-term dreams, about our future house and trips we would take and having kids eventually. I became a Monday through Friday, nine to five girlfriend. We were together nearly every day, as together as a hidden relationship allows you to be. I sat by, clinging to hope, and watched him as he bought new furniture with his wife. He hired a landscaper and started repairs on his house. We sit across from one another at the Greasy Spoon diner, reaching over the table to touch hands, caressing thumbs with the tenderness of a violin player. We joke and laugh, we talk, we sit in pure adoration. At the start of it all, the perks of the situation swam happily in my mind. Like most modern women, I felt I only needed a man for one thing, and a coupled lifestyle was not that thing. There would be no awkward morning-afters, no constant phone calls or texts. He loved me and worshipped me and spoke of our future.
I know every inch of his face and he knows every inch of mine. If I had never let things progress, I wouldn’t feel the hurt tugging on my heartstrings when we needed to disguise our relationship or feel the jealousy when he went home to his wife, as he always did. I could have all the space I wanted and I would hear no complaints from his end. But what started out as a simple, no-strings-attached relationship (or at least the illusion of one) evolved into much more. Maybe it was the jolt of electricity we both felt when we first met and shook hands or maybe it was our mutual understanding of the other’s troubles. We became each other’s go-to when one of us needed support.
Of course this isn’t an issue because you didn’t want a monogamous, committed relationship with a man who puts you first anyway. Now you have the honor of slipping right into her shoes. And his ex-wife, well, she knows exactly what you’re getting so keep an eye out for the thank you note. You just want sex and don’t want or need a commitment.
Apart from the whole marriage thing, your relationship with Mr.
The love affair with the married man starts with a man who married for the wrong reasons and thus never truly felt fulfilled in his commitment to the wife.
They probably have kids together and that is the only bond they share.
Right Now is progressing swimmingly in your little adulterous Camelot until you’re overwhelmed by the unexpected presence of three guests: guilt, shame, and humiliation. Hey, he’s wining and dining you, buying clothes and jewelry, paying a bill or two (maybe even the mortgage). It’s all good though because fair exchange is no robbery.