Dating to relationship
But public affection also just isn’t promoted in their culture. But I get it: Not getting affection returned can be hurtful and lead to questions.I’m actually very tactile and do enjoy public affection.
Mixed signals leave two people reacting to false information.I used to believe this; it was the fuel of many unwarranted fights.You see, I’m a talker, and when there’s an issue, I want to talk about it — immediately. And if you don’t want to talk about it, I feel like you don’t care, or that it’s not important to you.But through my relationships, I’ve learned that many people are not wired like me. Just find out what the real reason is, and don’t make a big deal out of it if it’s not a big deal.They may avoid conflict, not because they want to, but maybe they don’t have the tools, or it’s how they’re wired from their upbringing. Usually, people in this category just need some time. Just not being in the mood is enough of a reason — one day, you won’t be feeling like having sex when your partner wants to.It may be more of a slow burn; some people don’t feel the attraction until they're a few dates in. If they don’t show public affection, it means they’re embarrassed about being with you.
So try not to put so much weight on when the kiss lands. Some people just aren’t comfortable showing affection in public. Or maybe it’s a cultural thing — being Asian, I have never seen my parents show any public affection. I’m sure part of it has to do with their relationship dynamic.
Without even talking to him or getting the facts, I made a decision to distance myself. There are so many reasons why a kiss doesn’t surface on a first date that has nothing to do with you or the chemistry.
I thought if he’s not going to give me as much as I give him, why invest in this? Then I slowly got used to it and learned that that’s just the way he is. The person may want to kiss you, but the timing may be off, or the activity doesn’t allow for that moment.
But I’ve learned that many others aren’t like me, and so I don’t take it personally.
The bottom line is everyone has their own comfort levels, and that may not be tied to how they feel about you. Not wanting to discuss an issue at the time you want means they just don’t care.
Most likely, you’re pulling from your own insecurities or comparing this person’s response time to others from your past.