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Three guys are sitting at a Harlem bartop eating fries, drinking whiskey and talking about love.One of them, Bryce Richardson, is about to propose to his girlfriend.

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“When they saw me as female, it was kind of an automatic stop,” he says.“If I’m going off-the cuff, no-one really questions it,” Ward says.“It’s taken as, ‘He’s saying it, so it must be true.’ Whereas while I was practicing as female, it was ‘Show me your authority, you don’t know any better yet.’” Mitch Davis is now a director of organizational development at Planned Parenthood Federation of America in New York City, but he’s worked in HR for many different companies since coming out eight years ago.From , from Janet Mock to Caitlyn Jenner, America has a growing fascination with the lives of transgender people, most recently in light of recent debates over controversial bathroom laws.But the spotlight on trans issues has mostly been focused on transgender women, and transgender men have been largely left out of the narrative.In one previous job, he heard his boss call female colleagues “old cows” and refer to a middle-aged job applicant as “Dame Edna” after she’d left an interview.

“Evidently men say things like that to each other all the time,” he says.

S.; it’s nearly impossible to know how many of them are trans men.) Yet experiences of trans men can provide a unique window into how gender functions in American society.

In the last few months, I’ve interviewed nearly two dozen trans men and activists about work, relationships and family.

“I’m putting it together in my head, I’m like: ‘He’s gonna be one of my groomsmen, he’s gonna be one of my groomsmen,’” he points to his two friends and grins.

The other men light up when they hear the news and start talking about rings, how much they cost, will it be princess cut or pear shaped? “That was one of my dreams, to get married, to be somebody’s husband, to be somebody’s father,” says one of the friends, Redd Barrett.

“I said ‘I’m trans, and you’re not gonna want me anyway,” he recalls, unable to keep the smile off his face.