” I realized then that what I really wanted in my other half was compatibility in values, interests, and personality (which by then I knew my friend and I had). Diana Kirschner agrees that compatibility is the best thing about dating your best friend.In the words of Kirschner, a relationship expert, psychologist, and author of Find Your Soulmate Online in 6 Simple Steps: “You can have it all in one package: friendship and romance.” In fact, many girls admit this combination is what makes dating a best friend so appealing—given your closeness and familiarity, you’re already halfway to a solid romantic relationship.
That’s why Kirschner advises, “If you’re not completely smitten [with your best friend], just keep it a friendship.” Because that’s usually the biggest risk of pursuing a romantic relationship with a friend: losing that friendship altogether.There was, of course, that best guy friend who was rooting for me to overcome yet another heartache.Not surprisingly, I began to think, “Wait, should I revisit this, now that we are both single at the same time?More precisely, would it make your relationship easier…or harder?When I set out to explore this question for this piece, one of my own stories kept coming back to me.“Our [platonic] relationship progressed to the next [romantic] step very gradually.
We both realized that we liked each other, since we were spending so much time together, and we eventually talked about it,” she says.
A trustworthy, genuine boyfriend or girlfriend can often become your best friend.
But what if you were already best friends from the start?
I didn’t put in enough effort to dress up for our dinner dates, for example, or explain why I had to stay late at school. Our relationship had evolved from a platonic to romantic one, but because we knew each other first as friends, we took it for granted that we also knew each other’s relationship expectations, which became the root of many arguments.
Another problem with dating a close friend is that you might spend a lot of time with mutual friends, which could become awkward if the relationship doesn’t last.
I had a friend whom I’d known for almost six years.