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Obviously, there's a huge distance from here to the far more profound, personal love developed over the years, especially in marriage. Susan learned about this foundation of love after becoming engaged to David. Love is that feeling you get when you meet the right person." Every hand went up. Judaism actually idealizes this universal, unconditional love.
True giving, as Erich Fromm points out, is other-oriented, and requires four elements.Recently the subject of guys and breakups came up and Sabrina and I went back and forth about what guys generally go through when they breakup.It came down to be too much to put into the article I was writing, so we decided that I should throw it all into an installment of “Decoding Male Behavior.” To start, I wanted to write this article to dispel some of the misconceptions I’ve heard in regards to men and breakups.The first is care, demonstrating active concern for the recipient's life and growth.The second is responsibility, responding to his or her expressed and unexpressed needs (particularly, in an adult relationship, emotional needs).The third is respect, "the ability to see a person as he [or she] is, to be aware of his [or her] unique individuality," and, consequently, wanting that person to "grow and unfold as he [or she] is." These three components all depend upon the fourth, knowledge.
You can care for, respond to, and respect another only as deeply as you know him or her.
On the wedding day, emotions run high, but true love should be at its lowest, because it will hopefully always be growing, as husband and wife give more and more to each other.
A woman I know once explained why she's been happily married for 25 years.
The intensity many couples feel before marrying is usually great affection boosted by commonality, chemistry, and anticipation.
These may be the seeds of love, but they have yet to sprout.
At the end of the conversation, her mother said, "Darling, I want you to know we love you, and we love David." Susan was a bit dubious.